Do our neighbors across the Pond look for new reasons to make Americans hate them or do they just want to piss me off specifically? A poll released by the British magazine, NME, lists the Top-20 albums of all time as voted on by their readers, namely tone-deaf British douche bags with bad teeth and an unnatural obsession with Robbie Williams. I can't prove it, but I have a feeling that smug bastard Simon Cowell may have had a hand in this.
I swear to God I knew Oasis would grace the top of the list before I even read it. Only British people even remember who Oasis is much less vote for them for things other than Least Relevant Artists of the Millennium. And, THEY MADE THE GODDAMN LIST TWICE. Really, most of it is just the same tired old shit that appears on every list. And, the British are a patriotic bunch if nothing else, there's only two American bands on the entire list.
Here's the list- I refuse to post the link because it will just provide more traffic on their site and might encourage them to engage in future atrocities like this one.
1. 'Definitely Maybe' - Oasis
Most definitely it is not- not a good album that is. I couldn't provide the name of one song on this album if you had me in a half nelson and were flogging me with a Taking Back Sunday cd. The only amusing part of putting them at the top is the fact that they once claimed that they were better than The Beatles. Apparently, your fellow countrymen agree, Liam.
2. 'Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band' - The Beatles
Goddamn. Can we suck the Fab 4's dicks a little more? Christ Almighty. This album should be immediately disqualified solely because of the album cover. Dress four British men in matching, festively colored silk outfits with flowers in their hair and that’s considered groundbreaking. Dress up four stupid American pussies in matching outfits and you have the Backstreet Boys. Where's the justice?
3. 'Revolver' - The Beatles
See above notation.
4. 'OK Computer' - Radiohead
Ok, I'll give you this one, assholes. Radiohead is fucking genius and if you don't appreciate their brilliance then, “Fuck You.”
5. '(What's The Story) Morning Glory?' – Oasis
Double the pleasure, double the fun, huh? Did their record label or maybe Bush’s henchmen in Florida count the ballots?
6. 'Nevermind' - Nirvana
What is this the token American band for the Top-10? I liked this album. I liked this album about the first 600 times I heard it. And then people started acting like Kurt Cobain was a goddamn prophet and I stopped listening.
7. 'The Stone Roses' - The Stone Roses
I would bet MM's right testicle that you couldn't find 10 people in North America who could name one Stone Roses song. And why would you even want to? The Stone Roses epitomize all that is intolerable about the British: pretentious and whiny.
8. 'Dark Side Of The Moon' - Pink Floyd
Oooh! That's a novel idea! Who would've thought to put that album on a list!! Mentioning Dark Side or The Wall are predictably, safe choices- You’re not going to piss too many people off with either of them. You're just going to piss me off because I like Wish You Were Here better.
9. 'The Queen Is Dead' - The Smiths
The Smiths are a love ‘em or hate ‘em kinda band and I happen to love the hell out of them. This wouldn’t qualify as my favorite album of theirs, but it’s widely accepted as their best. The best thing about putting them in the Top-10 is pissing MM off. Sweet!
10. 'The Bends' - Radiohead
A less obvious choice, I'll give you that. I would've gone with Kid A, but what do I know. I mean, I, unlike the British assholes who voted in this poll, I actually have taste.
11. 'The Joshua Tree' - U2
Motherfucking #11? They didn't even make the Top-5?
12. 'London Calling' - The Clash
One of the few bands that deserves to be on this list.
13. 'The Beatles (The White Album)' - The Beatles
Arguably, the most overblown and over-rated album of all time. And, they didn't just stop at one; they stretched it out to a double-album because God forbid we not include, Piggies or Rocky Raccoon somewhere on there. Beatles' fans get on my nerves as much as any other group of people because they act like if John Lennon farted into the microphone and then recorded it it was some kind of goddamn breakthrough.
14. 'Abbey Road' - The Beatles
I don't think I have anything else left to say about The Beatles. Thanks for hanging out with the band, Yoko.
15. 'Up The Bracket' - The Libertines
You gotta be fucking kidding me. Only about 5 music dorks such as myself even know who this band is and even I couldn't hum along to any of their songs. Just to bring everybody up to speed: You know that druggie douche bag, Pete Doherty, that was boinking Kate Moss for awhile and has gotten arrested for stupid, drug-related shit approximately 78 times? He was the lead singer for the (now defunct) band.
16. 'Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols' - Sex Pistols
Let's just extend the list of talent less assholes to include the Sex Pistols. If I wanted to listen to a band scream and play the only 2 notes they know out-of-time then I'd listen to my own band play.
17. 'Four Symbols (Led Zeppelin IV)' - Led Zeppelin
No arguments here, although, I think it's funny that British people call it, "Four Symbols" when everyone in the States just calls it ZOSO.
18. 'The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars' - David Bowie
David Bowie was a goddamned genius. Moving on.
19. 'A Night At The Opera' - Queen
RIP Freddie. It's a disgrace those British assholes but bands like, The Libertines, before you guys.
20. 'Is This It' - The Strokes
Token American band, number 2. And of all the US bands to chose from, I'll be damned if they didn't pick a shitty poseur Ramone’s wannabe band.
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I hope you UK assholes are proud of yourselves and the shitty list you've made.
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8 comments:
Holy Margie mother of dog!! Two entries in less than a month!! I need to catch my breath! The shock is overwhelming!
As for the list. I only own one of these albums. I bet you can't figure out which one ;)
As for the rest. Eh. I might could hum a long to songs from a couple of the albums.. but it wouldn't be by choice. It'd be because it's either listen to the song or crappy commericals on the radio.
As for Oasis, I liked them when I was in middle school. I think. Maybe it was a different band. Obviously they made quite the impression.
So putting down the Stone Roses huh?? I can't say they are the best band but I used to sing along happily during the morning drive to high school to one of their songs. Actually own an album. But I must agree they have no place on this list.
Honestly you're right about the list it's all predictable and it's the same ole same ole that anybody who wants to sound like they know something would pick.
Have they seriously not put out enough decent music in the last few decades to update this list.
Oasis, man I can sing along to some Oasis, and maybe I'd put them on the list but not at the top. And I seem to recall that I liked What's the Story Morning Glory? alot better than the other. They are not great enough to be on there twice and especially not number one. What's so great about a band that finally got some major airplay and couldn't hold it together long enough to cash in.
Enough about all this.
I vote that they resurvey people. I think what actually happened was that they didn't really get any votes in and they just made it all up. Seriously, nobody would choose those albums.
And when did the British become so keen on The Strokes.
I hope MM is aware you are betting away 1/3 of his manhood =)
Oasis better than The Beatles, Zeppelin, U2, The Clash, Radiohead, Queen? What in THE fuck?
And in the case of the Beatles, how can a tribute band (Oasis) be better than the real thing?
What tomfoolery is this?!
Oasis does not suck.
end of discussion.
thanks for your time
once again,...
I'm just sayin' again
"Oasis does not suck."
Goddamn, thanks for that- that's the best laugh I've had all week.
I'm feeling supersonic
Give me gin and tonic
You can have it all but how much do you want it?
You make me laugh
Give me your autograph
Can I ride with you in your BMW ?
You can sail with me in my yellow submarine
You need to find out
'Cos no one's gonna tell you what I'm on about
You need to find a way for what you want to say
But before tomorrow
just plagarizin'
Oh what BS!
The Brits are about as about as patriotic as the Americans.
Their charts are constantly overloaded with American crap!
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